This past week in dudebro we read bell hook's "Understanding Patriarchy", and discussed it in group. The essay touches on the many roles masculinity plays in everyday patriarchy. With the understanding that masculinity is an identity characteristic based on patriarchal values and beliefs about gender. The function of masculinity as a gender tool is set up to limit males emotional capacity. It is why in a "imperialist white-supremacist capitalist patriarchal society", men are brought up to be desensitized emotionally. Thus perpetuating and endorsing a role that benefits from a lack of compassion, an abundance of ignorance, and inability to communicate.
It should be acknowledged that gender roles in our society are inherently fucked-up. They are so deeply rooted that many men never question them, because to do so would be to unravel the very rope in which our society is hanged upon. Traditional gender roles are reinforced from an extremely young age, through mediums as obvious as designated gender colors (blue for boys/ pink for girls), and the seemingly more subtle uncomfortable encounters in gym class locker rooms (having one's masculinity in question for changing in the toilet stall).
We asked each other in group how we can even remotely address these issues while confronting our own male socialized tendencies. We asked, "What does it mean to be a manly man?. Do you have to be successful or drive a nice car?. Do you have to have a big cock or just walk around objectifying everyone you see pretending that you do?". Even the fear of being labeled as having a small penis is enough to make most men shutter. Certainly we don't believe that sex (or our sex organs) has anything to do with what makes us men; do we? Our societies infatuation with self image leaves these questions burning in the deepest pits of our minds. Kids being raised with these unreasonable standards grow up constantly questioning the size and/or shape of their bodies.
I feel it is important for men to have healthy emotional relationships that denounce stereotypically masculine roles. By definition masculinity refers to qualities and behaviors judged by a particular culture to be ideally associated with or especially appropriate to men and boys. Through examination we see how patriarchy is blatantly intertwined with our society's "ideal" qualities and behaviors for males. It is crucial to the anti-patriarchy movement that we understand the difference between masculinity and patriarchal masculinity. By re-appropriating masculinity we can alter it's meaning through everyday accountability.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Tuesday March 6th notes!
just gonna jot down notes verbatim. may be a bit unclear, but then what isnt (besides diamonds or a mountain lake)?
here goes:
explored feelings around defining aspects of gender, which is taken for granted without asking what gender is. are you defined by your gender?
talked about some initial defensive feelings regarding trans and intersex list of demands. started to understand why the the article has such a strong tone, and how the need for people to understand these things is important (i.e. difference between sex and gender).
what does it mean for you to identify as a man? if it is important to you to identify as a man, why? are these important or relevant questions? do they enforce the gender binary, is that a bad thing? by identifying as a man, do you inherently make it more difficult for others to exercise their own gender determination? thought about the difference between any gender identity arrived at by examination and self determination as opposed to a default gender identity assigned to you.
ruminated on the paradigm shift that gender is defined from the inside out, not imposed from the outside in. realized how difficult it is to think like that as opposed to socialized thoughts on gender.
talked about gender roles in a relationship. inherently bad? can they be good? thought about gender roles in a relationship in regards to those that were arrived at by examination and determination and those arrived at by default or without thought. whats healthy? how do you trust your motives?
here goes:
explored feelings around defining aspects of gender, which is taken for granted without asking what gender is. are you defined by your gender?
talked about some initial defensive feelings regarding trans and intersex list of demands. started to understand why the the article has such a strong tone, and how the need for people to understand these things is important (i.e. difference between sex and gender).
what does it mean for you to identify as a man? if it is important to you to identify as a man, why? are these important or relevant questions? do they enforce the gender binary, is that a bad thing? by identifying as a man, do you inherently make it more difficult for others to exercise their own gender determination? thought about the difference between any gender identity arrived at by examination and self determination as opposed to a default gender identity assigned to you.
ruminated on the paradigm shift that gender is defined from the inside out, not imposed from the outside in. realized how difficult it is to think like that as opposed to socialized thoughts on gender.
talked about gender roles in a relationship. inherently bad? can they be good? thought about gender roles in a relationship in regards to those that were arrived at by examination and determination and those arrived at by default or without thought. whats healthy? how do you trust your motives?
fuck mondays.
Monday March 5th notes
5 People in attendance
Check-in: People are good, bad and in-between
Today we discussed the previous article. Most people had read it, and reaction were overwhelmingly positive. The article did an excellent job of introducing trans and genderqueer issues, while simultaneously touching on issues of class and race. We discussed at length what trans people have to go through in our society to get the hormones they desire or surgery they want. We talked about owning your own gender, and how you can't "steal" someone else's expression of their gender. Examples from the article are expressions of hyper-masculinity or femininity. Made us reflect on our own gender expression, and how in previous meetings people have had a hard time expressing what parts of being male where enjoyable, as f it was all bad, or expressing it was bad. We are going to continue discussing the article next week, with the focus being on what does Patriarchy gain for enforcing the gender binary, and from transphobia.
We look forward to reading what Tuesday talked about.
Check-in: People are good, bad and in-between
Today we discussed the previous article. Most people had read it, and reaction were overwhelmingly positive. The article did an excellent job of introducing trans and genderqueer issues, while simultaneously touching on issues of class and race. We discussed at length what trans people have to go through in our society to get the hormones they desire or surgery they want. We talked about owning your own gender, and how you can't "steal" someone else's expression of their gender. Examples from the article are expressions of hyper-masculinity or femininity. Made us reflect on our own gender expression, and how in previous meetings people have had a hard time expressing what parts of being male where enjoyable, as f it was all bad, or expressing it was bad. We are going to continue discussing the article next week, with the focus being on what does Patriarchy gain for enforcing the gender binary, and from transphobia.
We look forward to reading what Tuesday talked about.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Monday, Feb 26th notes
5 people present
Check-in: People are good, bad, and somewhere in between.
We took a look at Intersexed & Trans Demands. We went over some of the terms used in the demands so we were all on the same page as far as definitions. We used Wikipedia to find terms such as genderfuck, boi, boydykes, etc...
We talked about current issues in our community effecting trans folks and what we can do about them.
We are going to read Gender Skirmishes on the Edges: Notes on gender identity, self-determination and anti-colonial struggle for next week.
People also talked about their fathers becoming cooler and more radical as they age.
Great web resource...
We should be sure to check out www.anarcha.org for resources. It is a wonder compendium of wimmin, queer, and trans writings from radical perspectives...
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Monday, Feb 19th notes...
Today we talked about starting the DUDEBRO blog, as a way to communicate better with the community. Notes will be taken at the meeting, and then published immediately afterwards or the next day. The groups hopes to also write about some of the results of DUDEBRO, both our discussions and actions.
A few of the ideas we have had for the next few topics:
Homophobia and Patriarchy
Transphobia and Patriarchy
Revisiting Consent
Depression
We also talked about some of the things DUDEBRO should do. We talked about some of the recent confrontations with people at BLAST-O-MAT, and our role in helping make shows there a safe place. We also would like to have some discussions with the folks at BLAST-O-MAT about this as well. This also sparked a discussion on what should our presence be like when we are in public spaces, and how do we confront folks in an A-P way? We need to have further discussion on this.
A few of the ideas we have had for the next few topics:
Homophobia and Patriarchy
Transphobia and Patriarchy
Revisiting Consent
Depression
We also talked about some of the things DUDEBRO should do. We talked about some of the recent confrontations with people at BLAST-O-MAT, and our role in helping make shows there a safe place. We also would like to have some discussions with the folks at BLAST-O-MAT about this as well. This also sparked a discussion on what should our presence be like when we are in public spaces, and how do we confront folks in an A-P way? We need to have further discussion on this.
Our blog, and our decision to split up...
Hey there Denver.
So, we here at the Monday and Tuesday DUDEBRO have decided to start a Dude-blog. I know, technology sucks an stuff, but we thought this might be an easy way for us to communicate to the larger community. We can make post of what we talked about each week, and hopefully elicit discussions. Maybe suggestions for resources will come through here at some point. Beyond that, it will serve as a repository of what we talk about, allowing for more institutional memory. Hopefully the blog will be updated the day after each meeting.
So, you may have noticed that I said Monday DUDEBRO. That is because DUDEBRO decided to split into two groups. One group was growing too big, and became too unwieldy and handsome. People who were more introverted ceased talking, and too often the group felt like just a few people having a conversation. Additionally, more people would be able to come if we had a second night. Finally we felt that more people having more discussions about Anti-patriarchy work and more resources getting read and shared will ultimately benefit both groups and our larger community.
So, we here at the Monday and Tuesday DUDEBRO have decided to start a Dude-blog. I know, technology sucks an stuff, but we thought this might be an easy way for us to communicate to the larger community. We can make post of what we talked about each week, and hopefully elicit discussions. Maybe suggestions for resources will come through here at some point. Beyond that, it will serve as a repository of what we talk about, allowing for more institutional memory. Hopefully the blog will be updated the day after each meeting.
So, you may have noticed that I said Monday DUDEBRO. That is because DUDEBRO decided to split into two groups. One group was growing too big, and became too unwieldy and handsome. People who were more introverted ceased talking, and too often the group felt like just a few people having a conversation. Additionally, more people would be able to come if we had a second night. Finally we felt that more people having more discussions about Anti-patriarchy work and more resources getting read and shared will ultimately benefit both groups and our larger community.
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